The Warrior Poet and the Apprentice

Erin Kelly reflects on her unexpected arrival at The Good Men Project, and how Cameron Conaway changed her life with one e-mail. 

–––

They say life is about the journey, not the destination. They say life is about taking risks and not having to look back in regret—reminiscent of the Wayne Gretzky quote,

“You miss every shot you don’t take.”

Before October 28, 2012, I hadn’t taken any “shots” in my career worth mentioning. I hadn’t written anything on a national level, and I wasn’t getting away from the “Why are you in a wheelchair?” or “What’s wrong with you?” scenarios I’d been so used to playing out—at least, not enough to feel like or even call myself a true writer. 

In fact, I was beginning to doubt whether or not my thoughts and the words I wrote were ever getting past the city line of Altoona, Pennsylvania—my hometown where I’ve been a columnist for the local newspaper, The Altoona Mirror, for the past five-and-a-half years. 

Everything I knew of risk at that point—as well as the absolute fear and hesitation that comes with it—had to do with my cerebral palsy. It wasn’t because I didn’t know any better. It was because I felt my CP was the only thing that truly presented a challenge.

However, something felt different on that cold October night—a feeling that made the blood in my fingertips flow. I cautiously but rather intriguingly read though an e-mail from one Cameron Conaway.

My first thought was, ‘Who’s Cameron Conaway?’ 

I’d never heard of him before, nor did I know what he was about—what his story was. I’d only seen a few pictures of whom I assumed was him on Facebook. Moreover, I was confused as to why he was reaching out to me. What could I possibly have to offer a complete stranger—much less a stranger who said he started out as an MMA fighter and was now Social Justice Editor of an online publication I’d never heard of? 

I carefully read through some more general information he included in the e-mail. I was utterly and completely blown away as I went down the list of his accolades—accomplished poet, writer—earning him the distinction of being known as The Warrior Poet around the world—and a prominent voice against human trafficking—but that still didn’t explain why he was making an effort to connect with me.

Then, as if it were a beam of light in the darkness, my eye gravitated toward this:

“I read your work in The [Altoona] Mirror. I truly believe you have the potential to be one of the leading disability writers in the country, if not THE top disability writer. Would you be interested in writing a piece for the Social Justice section of The Good Men Project? ”

I sat at my computer in silence for a moment. I stared at those words until my eyes stung. It was if I’d been injected with some type of undiscovered antibody or kryptonite. I couldn’t decipher between the excitement of being praised and recognized for something other than how “extraordinarily well” I handle my cerebral palsy, and the excitement of simply receiving this e-mail. At that point, I don’t think it registered in my conscience that there was a difference between the two.

With every word I read, I knew Cameron understood and could truly grasp the one thing that’s taken the rest of the world an eternity to grasp: there’s more to me than just my disability. He didn’t see my cerebral palsy as a reason to sweep certain topics under the rug for one reason or another. In fact, he’s taught me to “bleed” and weave my personal experiences into my work as a way to potentially raise awareness about issues that occur within the disabled community. 

At that moment, I knew that this man was downright brilliant—in his thought process and the way he turns his thoughts into extremely constructive, well-crafted criticism. I have yet to find a better example of this than the day I submitted my first story for GMP, a few weeks after Cameron initially e-mailed me.

He said the story had a certain finesse and flow, and that it fit the description of the one genre of writing GMP didn’t have at the time—disability.

◊♦◊

As we began to form a solid writer-editor bond, it became clear to me that Cameron was a professional in every sense of the word. He not only has a keen business sense for good, effective writing, but he has a way of carrying himself that, in my mind, defines what it means to be real and genuine. I subsequently put my career in his hands when I came onboard at GMP, and he has helped me rise to the occasion every time I put a piece of work out there for the world to see.

Cameron paid me the highest compliment when he hired me solely on the merit of my work, not my disability. As a human being, I could never ask for or want more than that. Not only did it lift a tremendous weight off my shoulders, but it let me know that he cared as much about the people who worked with him as he did about the quality of work they produced. 

It wasn’t until March 2014 that I truly had the opportunity to feel the warmth, professionalism and humbleness I’d grown so used to reading in Cameron’s e-mails. He graciously stopped by my house on a chilly day, and couldn’t have been more at ease talking about and being around my chair, the real root of why I became a writer. It felt like we’d been friends our entire lives—as if we went to high school or college together and were just reuniting that day.

As if by fate, we did indeed attend both together, but our paths never once crossed until 2012, even if it was electronically. In fact, Cameron mentioned that he remembered the work I did for our high school and college newspapers and that it was one of the factors in his decision to write and send that first e-mail on that October night.

◊♦◊

There are many things in my life that have left a distinct impression on me. However, this entire experience takes top honor for me, as a writer and as a person. It has marked a notch in my journey that pushes me to live up to my nickname, WriterWheels.

No matter which star or path we choose to follow, we always need a hand to guide us to the right one. Cameron Conaway has been the hands, mind, and feet that have guided me to mine. With a solid career already established, I cannot wait to see where his star leads him next. 

The post The Warrior Poet and the Apprentice appeared first on The Good Men Project.